Stop Wasting Your Precious Time (2024)

“What am I even doing?”

Reflect on the last time you reached the end of the day and thought, “What did I even get done today?” Or you spent the last hour and a half doing something and wondered, “Why did I just do that?”

It’s common for us to go through periods of our lives when we feel less fulfilled with how we’re spending our time. I’ve heard people describe this as feeling “blah” about their lives.

Three common reasons why you may be unhappy with how you’re spending your time

1. You are doing things you don’t want to be doing.

You are spending your time fulfilling obligations and performing tasks you don’t want to be doing. External obligations and pressures may take precedence over your own needs and wants, which leads to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction.

2. You are doing things without intention.

Random tasks keep filling up your schedule because you aren’t protecting your time with your important commitments and priorities. This can make you feel like you’re doing things “just because,” not because they have any personal meaning to you.

3. You are doing old things on autopilot.

You’ve stuck to the same routines and time commitments without considering that your priorities and needs have changed. This can lead to feelings of stagnation and boredom.

You can combat these common problems by first identifying what matters to you and then aligning your actions (your schedule and routines) with those values and important life areas.

Why are you doing that? Knowing what matters to you matters.

If you want to feel a more sustained and deeper sense of fulfillment with the way you spend your time, get honest about what you are doing and why. You will be less likely to get distracted or influenced by outside factors. You will be better at setting boundaries and saying yes to the right things the clearer you are with yourself about what you want and why. Knowing what matters will help you find effective ways to take action.

Here are some steps towards identifying “what matters” and translating them into actions.

Steps toward building a values-aligned life

1. Identify your values.

What are the values you hold most important in your life right now? List some words that come to mind or search “values exercise” online for some examples to get you started. Don’t think too hard about what a “right” or “wrong” answer is. Use your intuition about what feels most important to you and the kind of person you try your best to be. Make sure your values are your own, not what you think you “should” value.

Are you someone who values creativity, family, nature, autonomy, spirituality, personal growth, fun (the list goes on…)?

2. Turn your values into concrete behaviors.

Next, let’s turn the abstract value into a concrete action. Write one to two behaviors or lifestyle choices that reflect how these values currently play out in your life.

For example, if you chose “family” as one of your values, you may have, “I spend Saturday mornings taking walks with my partner.” For “creativity,” you may have, “I take a drawing class every Tuesday night,” or “I knit a few times a month.”

If you’re struggling to find actions that reflect your values, this is completely normal. That is the point of this exercise. Take this time to write down potential activities you would like to do that will make your values into tangible behaviors.

3. Note areas of misalignment.

Compare and contrast your values and desired activities with your actual life. Look at your schedule, or write out a typical week if you don’t keep a planner.

• How does your typical week reflect these values and goals?
• Looking at your schedule and current commitments, would you say they reflect your values and priorities?
• Ask, “What is missing?”
• What is one thing you can do today to tweak your schedule so it can reflect an important value you have?

Real-life examples of values-aligned activities

Here are some ideas based on actual things my clients have done as a result of this exercise:

• As a person who loves learning new things, spend 30 fewer minutes on social media apps and instead read a book or listen to a podcast interview about an interesting topic.
• As a person who loves connecting with friends, call someone instead of texting.
• As a person who loves experimenting with food, find a recipe and make it a weekend project. Watch your favorite cookbook author make a dish on video and follow along!

Conclusion

We’d much rather spend time on the things we want, and that feel meaningful to us. Spending your precious time on things that truly matter will make a bigger difference in your overall long-term, sustained well-being. Rather than simply settling for doing things you should do, challenge yourself to consider what you would rather do and take small actions toward moving the needle toward where you want to be.